And for my post today HERE I'm sharing a special card and some feelings too.. ahhhh - LOL!
A good friend of mine is expecting.. YAY! :) I am so thrilled for her as it's been a tough, hard road getting to this point and I know how much she wanted this - which makes it even special-er .. I know this little one is going to be well loved!!! It's early days... but I wanted to make her a special card... which I will send LATER - once she actually resembles this image - tee hee, It's called "Icecream and Pickles" from Saturated Canary.
on a personal note.....
Making pregnancy and Baby cards are something I find the hardest... they tug my heartstrings I guess .... It's not that I'm not happy for friends/ people who are expecting... I am -- very happy -- for them!! and Thankful for the blessing of new life! Pregnancy is a great gift from God :) I guess the hard bit is it's just a big reminder of what we don't / won't have and what we've have lost.
I "think" most women understand having the desire for children /to be nurturers - we are after all designed that way.. and the world and many churches tell us that for married woman our role is to be a Mum so when we are not then things are just not right and can leave us with feelings of inadequacy, failure, sadness and the list goes on... more on that another time...
"BFP" are three initials I would LOVE to scream from the rooftops for myself .... During my IVF attempts journey/ season I learnt MANY new acronymns.... Happily I was able to say BFP (=BIG FAT PREGNANT) once... and PUPO (PREGNANT UNTIL PROVEN OTHERWISE) 5 times... however none of our little ones survived and I still find the loss of those 6 little lives painful and I wonder "what if" all the time. I have just ordered a locket in memory of our 6 little ones so I may share that here once I get it :D I know God does not give us more than we can handle and that everything is in his control and so through his strength we continue on and we rest in the knowledge that he is good and has a beautiful plan!
Why am I sharing all this here?? is it Oversharing?? I don't think so... I think Infertility/ Pregnancy loss is too often a taboo topic... not talked about and believe me it's not easy to write this... but I know that the journey of infertility it can feel very isolating and if this helps just one person then I think it's worth sharing! If you are reading this and need an understanding ear then I am certainly happy to LISTEN.
Sammi
xoxo
