Surgery and contemplations

So we went back to our lovely FS*, and she was sad with us that the cycle didn't work.. she said that it could have just been a bad month.. the mature egg apparently was a bit  strangely shaped. She said that medically it was worth trying again (or some language similar to that - I can't remember exactly) and that this time she would give me a larger dose of the Gonal F - so that decision  (whether to try again) needs to be made.. first we had to book in an appointment to remove the uterine polyp.

18 September was the date set  - a hysteroscopy/polypectomy .. at the Genea Day Surgery. The nurses phoned the day before to give timing and fasting instructions etc... the surgery was set for 1pm, so I was able to get up at 6:30am and have some light breakfast.
We had discussed catching the train into town and then catching an uber or a taxi home... but I was feeling so rotton that we decided it would be better to drive in and park in the carpark right in the same building. It worked out a bit more expensive but worth it!

Back to the funny little cubicles - No.5 this time .. The anaesthetist put in the cannula in my hand for the anaesthetic to go in.. it was pretty painful! Guy went off to get some lunch.. and they took me into the theatre.. they gave me a super warm blanket and started getting organised.. I sort of missed the actual anaesthetic and next thing I knew I was waking up and really needed to go the the bathroom .. so I did with the drip attached .. and rather woozy! I had some rice cakes with honey which one of the nurses did for me.. and some peppermint tea..and also some apple juice for extra sugar as apparently I was looking very pale!! After a while they phoned our FS and I spoke to her about how it went. She was happy and said that it went well. the polyp was BIG .. not tall just very wide.. so definitely needed to come out.. She was happy for us to go ahead with IVF at the next   after that we packed up and went home.

I felt rather tired and sore for a few days after the surgery and the bleeding was reasonably heavy on and off.

We haven't been sure about trying again .. it's quite scary.. at what point do we just accept that God is saying "no. I'm actually not quite ready for that.. although I will accept it if I have to.. devastatingly.
We don't really feel like last time was a proper attempt ... so think that if we can try again that would be good.

all over red rover

Well, just over a week has passed since we found out that neither of the eggs fertilised... one was not mature and the other one just didn't fertilise :( VERY sad!! I really thought, hoped and dreamt that one would! It's such an emotional rollercoaster this journey!

Today AF is starting - I'd been so hopeful not for AF for 9 months.. but that's life.. explains why I was extra emotional yesterday too!

It's Father's Day today.. as you know I don't really like these days .. Personally this day is not as painful to me as Mother's Day is  (and it doesn't threaten my validity as a woman/wife).
I am thankful for my loving Dad! Wish I could give him a hug today.. have to wait till next weekend (not too far away thankfully), I am sad for Guy whose Dad passed away last year and whose own chances of being a Dad grow slimmer .. I think he would be a really wonderful Dad! I think of other friends who have lost their Dads and weep with them! I am extremely Thankful for our Heavenly Father (all knowing, ever present, all powerful and HOLY) who reached down to us through his Son - who loves and cares for and sustains us!!

Tuesday we go and see our Fertility Dr and see what she has to say about the cycle/ trying again :o