IVF During a Pandemic

Well I didn't keep up the blog... I did however document the journey a little lot more on my Instagram.. and took even more photos on my phone that might one day come to light haha

It's been a super stressful time doing IVF in the middle of a world wide pandemic... IVF at the best of times is full of so many uncertainties and add in the extra uncertainty from COVID and ir's bordering on ridiculous.

All through the cycle I was terrified that I'd be pumped full of hormones and then would have the cycle cancelled.. thing got stranger along the way... public transport felt very "un-safe" and so I started driving in for everything.. and walking halfway across town between the clinic and acupuncture. We paid a fair bit for parking over the months... In March the government decided that to free up resources - equipment and people that they were going to shut down elective surgery... which apparently includes IVF... this made me more scared as no one quite knew exactly when.. then it was the 1 April .. and we JUST managed to squeeze in with Egg Collection on 26th March and Transfer on 31 March! Phew

I made a little video with a selection of photos and videos taken during the IVF cycle ...

I am still in shock that after all this time and so many prayers and tears, that IVF finally was successful and we are FINALLY pregnant... only once have I seen those two lines before and since I was already bleeding it was bittersweet. This is different! This time there is HOPE that this little one will be a survivor and make it all the way to a healthy baby .... Praying God would protect and grow this little one!!

Agonist Cycle

Good morning, I thought I would write down a bit of information here about what an Agonist cycle is and some more details about my particular journey with it so far and predicted. An Agonist cycle is also called a long down regulation cycle I believe. I've added a bit of a rough diagram/ schedule of what these next days, weeks should involve.

It starts with supressing regular female hormones. This is done via the Synarel spray that I am taking, (I've also heard it referred to putting you in a pseudo menopause state).

In my case, I had my blood test on Day 22 of my cycle and started the spray day 23. It's usually 7-10 days after that when AF arrives and a 2nd blood test. Currently I'm at day 8 so getting there I suppose. Just waiting!

So currently just waiting some more (and going slightly crazy on this spray haha) ... the next blood test will show if my hormones are low enough (have been down regulated) and then I will be advised when to start the Menopur which is a follicle stimulating hormone - which will facilitate the growth of lots of folllicles and hopefully result in some good eggs!

A few days after the start of injections I will have more blood test and scans to see how the follicles are progressing and will continue to be monitored with tests until they decide it's time to collect. And I'll continue with the medications

36 hours before the Egg collection I will take an HcG trigger shot (actually I believe I'm going to be having a double shot) which will further develop the eggs and bing on ovulation.. but before that happens they will swoop in and collect them.

After the egg collection I will use Crinone (pessaries) and God willing have a little embryo {or two}
transferred 5 days after the collection. In this case I will need to stay on the Crinone until the Beta test which I'm praying will result in a BFP (BIG FAT POSITIVE)

Stepping out again in faith

We are about to embark on a new Season ... we’ve decided to go with a new bulk-billing clinic (who hoo) for a new round of IVF .. so starting an Agonist cycle later this month - with a blood test on the 27th 😯 simultaneously exciting and terrifying!! 

And the pre-testing bloodwork has reminded me of the ordeal of regular blood tests .. it is not fun. And when you tell the collector that you have deep veins and they still go in on a shallow  angle it doesn’t work 😒🥵😯😔 but all this will worthwhile or will one day be a distant memory again.

I started a new insta account so that I can easily document this journey and not bombard my current account with ivf posts ☺️

Hoping and praying that this might be the time for a miracle from our loving, faithful God!

Pregnancy and infant loss awareness month (and a year has passed)

It's been a YEAR since I was PUPO with Stevie. I can't believe it's been a year... I'm not sure where that time has gone .. It almost feels like yesterday and yet it's not ... Had this little one stuck in he/she would now be 3 months old.. I can only imagine what that would be like to have a 3 month old baby in the house ... in my arms... sleepless nights ... struggles ... and joys. And yet that is not God's plan for us for right now - Stevie (and siblings) are NOT HERE .. they are in heaven! My arms are empty!

Perhaps the dream of having children on this earth is not God's plan for me at all. I still find myself unable to accept this, it is devastating to contemplate - although I know that he is God and I am not .. and he will hold onto me and give me the strength to live for him and honour him no matter what these next months and years hold. I need to turn to him rather than bottling it all up inside, watching trashy Netflix to escape ... to turn to his word and be fulfilled in Him and not in my desire to be a Mum to living, breathing little ones.. I know in my head these things but I pray that I would know them deeply in my heart as well.

Here's some pictures from the Embryo transfer a year and 2 days ago....

So much hope!! 

GONE!

And yet my hope is still that God can create miracles... and He could (if he desired) still create a miracle ... I have been seeing an acupuncurist and herbalist pretty much weekly for the last year. We've been shopping for our fruit and veggies from the Organic Farmers Market and reducing chemicals in our lives.. Hoping and Praying for a miracle!

I am wondering about whether we should try IVF one more time... but how many times is the answer "No" enough? How much more can we put ourselves through?

This month is pregnancy and infant loss awareness month ... and it's great to raise and create more awareness and help to reduce stigma associated with miscarriage etc but it's also very triggering for me personally. It's super sad hearing other people's stories of loss ... and remembering our own losses. I don't want to be in this "club" and yet I am ... right now I am so sad! 

But if I can help someone else feel "not alone" on this walk then I will.. Perhaps that's a small amount of good to come from a whole amount of sadness and grief! 

15th October was International Pregnancy and Infant Loss Remembrance Day and so I created a little artwork to remember some precious little lives gone too soon (which I posted on my Insta)

If you are experiencing or have experienced miscarriage the Pink Elephants is a great support network with resources and people providing a "Circle of support". They also have some great resources for friends and family to know how to support loved ones in this situation!! 

Some Embryo artwork

These ideas/ inspiration just came to me today when I was lying face down with needles stuck in my back.  My Acupuncturist asked me about whether we were thinking of going back to do IVF again soon... I did have a few tears, I told her it's too expensive and she told me to check out a "cheaper clinic" which I might but we are still not sure ... She thinks it's worth it after all the building up of my body/ hormones that we have been doing .. (but we also kinda need to lose more weight which is being obstinate).

The first one is based on the idea that God is holding on to our Embryos ... our little Embabies ...This Psalm is one of my favourites and talks about God's sovereignty, Omniscience (all knowing), Omnipresence (ever present, everywhere), Omnipotence (all powerful) and Holiness.. I am in AWE of Him!! I do believe that each day of my life and their very short lives was part of his plan (even though I find it hard to comprehend why) and I know that he is holding me fast (As well as our little ones).

Our very first Embaby, Dan was 11 cells when we saw it on the screen... I have a vivid memory of blues and purples and the incredulous of the miracle that those little tiny cells was the start of a human life. Sadly we don't have a photo of Dan so I thought this was a good place to start in my artworks. I might do some more of the rest.

I was thinking about whether people might want artworks done of their embabies and this other idea came to me ... so I created a second on, this time of our eighth and last Embaby, Stevie. I tried to make it look similar to the photo that we have from the Grow app from Genea.

I'm really happy with the results of these, and I'm planning to do some more.. wondering about printing and framing them but perhaps I'll do one with all 8 Embabies on it.

I think I might use my Copic markers next time instead of the Ipad but we will see. If you or someone you know might like an artwork made to remember their Embabies drop me a line :)

Overwhelmed with sadness

This morning I was Overwhelmed with sadness ... it happens sometimes and is hard to contain.
Once that door of grief opens it's hard to get it closed again! It doesn't help that I'm super over tired.

Currently (since early Sunday morning) we are looking after four children aged 6-13 so their parents could have a little getaway. It's been hard, fun, tiring, rewarding and exhausting ... respecting parents of little ones so much in all that they do for them, caring for them, helping them to grow and mature.

I'm really pleased that our friends trust us to care for their children whilst they go away and it's a great blessing to be able to look after/ spend time with little people BUT it also makes starker the realities of what we are "missing out on"

After I dropped Mr 6 at his class I was walking back through the school.. and there were children EVERYWHERE and parents, grandparents etc coming in and out and I was just hit with a huge wave of sadness ... Some of our little ones would have been at this Infants school age now ... and yet they are not here :( And possibly, quite probably we will never be taking our own children to and from school.

At times like this I really am NOT CONTENT with my life ...  I know that God's plan for my life is good for me but I don't really feel it right now.

Anyway about an hour till I have to pick them up again so best suck it up and get ready! 

Not a due date

Today would have been Stevie's due date ... if he/she had stuck around .. but like the rest of our precious embryos Stevie was not meant for this world.

musings on Heavenly bodies

Do you ever wonder what we will look like in Heaven, what age will we be? I do constantly. I especially wonder what Dan, Chris, Jess, Jules, Ashley, Kelly, Kim and Stevie will look like.. will we recognise them? Will they recognise us? I think so and yet I really don't know. I do look forward to meeting them one day!!

1 Corinthians 15:35-58 (below) is "somewhat" helpful - Our bodies will be whatever they are because God has chosen them! They will be different to our earthly bodies (in what way we can't imagine and aren't told), they will be imperishable spiritual bodies that resemble Jesus' resurrected body.

Thanks be to God that Death has lost it's sting through the victory of Jesus!!

1 Corinthians 15:35 (ESV)

But someone will ask, “How are the dead raised? With what kind of body do they come?” 

36 You foolish person! What you sow does not come to life unless it dies. 37 And what you sow is not  

the body that is to be, but a bare kernel, perhaps of wheat or of some other grain. 

38 But God gives it a body as he has chosen, 

and to each kind of seed its own body. 39 For not all flesh is the same, but there is one kind for humans, 

another for animals, another for birds, and another for fish. 

40 There are heavenly bodies and earthly bodies, but the glory of the heavenly is of one kind,

 and the glory of the earthly is of another. 

41 There is one glory of the sun, and another glory of the moon, 

and another glory of the stars; for star differs from star in glory.

42 So is it with the resurrection of the dead. What is sown is perishable; what is raised is imperishable. 

43 It is sown in dishonor; it is raised in glory. It is sown in weakness; it is raised in power. 44 It is sown a 

natural body; it is raised a spiritual body. If there is a natural body, there is also a spiritual body. 

45 Thus it is written, “The first man Adam became a living being” the last Adam became a life-giving spirit. 

46 But it is not the spiritual that is first but the natural, and then the spiritual. 47 The first man was from the

earth, a man of dust; the second man is from heaven. 48 As was the man of dust, so also are those who are 

of the dust, and as is the man of heaven, so also are those who are of heaven. 

49 Just as we have borne the image of the man of dust, we shall also bear the image of the man of heaven.

50 I tell you this, brothers: flesh and blood cannot inherit the kingdom of God, nor does the 

perishable inherit the imperishable.

51 Behold! I tell you a mystery. We shall not all sleep, but we shall all be changed, 

52 in a moment, in the twinkling of an eye, at the last trumpet. For the trumpet will sound, 

and the dead will be raised imperishable, and we shall be changed. 

53 For this perishable body must put on the imperishable, and this mortal body must put on immortality. 

54 When the perishable puts on the imperishable, and the mortal puts on immortality, 

then shall come to pass the saying that is written:

“Death is swallowed up in victory.”

55  “O death, where is your victory?

O death, where is your sting?”

56 The sting of death is sin, and the power of sin is the law. 

57 But thanks be to God, who gives us the victory through our Lord Jesus Christ.

58 Therefore, my beloved brothers, be steadfast, immovable, always abounding in 

the work of the Lord, knowing that in the Lord your labor is not in vain.

a bit of a slump

The Bears of Hope High tea was good (hard but good) ... I enjoyed spending time with dear friends. I just wish that there was no reason for any of us to be there! But it is what it is, sadly.

It was super helpful for me to recognise and honour our dear little ones .. and I received this precious gift. (I'm really glad that I listed all their names on the registration form).

My friend took this photo ... remembering dear Casey, Gregory, Sebastian and Aerin

My Mother's Day facebook post

Today I’m thanking God for Mother’s (and all that they are and do) and praying they have strength and perseverance to keep loving and caring (even when it’s most hard).

Praying (and weeping with those) for whom Mother’s Day makes them weep ... for those missing their own mums who are no longer on this earth, for those grieving broken relationships, for those whose children have died - forever in their hearts but never or no longer in their arms, for those who desperately long to be mothers and whose dreams are unfulfilled, for those who are parenting alone and all others grieving today.

Thanking God especially for those who “mother” in so many ways without physically being a “mum”!! 

*********************************************************************************************

Honestly, I've been struggling quite a bit since Mother's day.. and have been in a bit of a slump.. the recent cold weather is not helping and neither is my health.. although I guess it's all kinda linked. The house is a mess and I really want to clean it up but I'm just not getting it done.

Trying to trust in God and his goodness and be content in where he has me right now but that's so hard. Praying that I would be quick to listen to him and not be tempted to look to the world for wisdom and contentment.

High tea

I've signed up to attend a Mothers Day High tea.. run by Bears of Hope.. a pregnancy and infant loss support organisation. I'm going with some other girl friends who have lost their precious little ones.

When I filled in the form to register there was a question: "Is this person a bereaved mother" and it had space to list names of children. I really wasn't sure what to write and agonised over it. I don't know that to everyone they count but to me ... yes I am.. and those 8 little lives count and matter and so after discussion with Guy and choosing a couple more names for Octobers little ones,  I wrote down eight names:
Dan, Chris, Jess, Jules, Ashley, Kelly, Stevie and Kim xxxxxxxx

It's on the day before Mother's Day .. I feel a little strange and anxious about it ... If you've read other posts here you would know that Mother's Day is one of the hardest days for me, but I'm happy to be able to go to support my dear friends and looking forward to spending time with them and am glad to be able to honour those little lives not for this world.

It's been a while.. I keep meaning to update this blog but then don't ... It's been a tough couple of months emotionally...we saw our FS and she didn't give us many answers or much hope for IVF working if we were to try again... that was a shock as I expected her to encourage us to "keep going" ... at least she was honest.. she suggested if we wanted to we just try "one last time" She didn't really have ideas on what to do but was happy to try some things that my Acupuncturist advised. We are still unsure about whether we will try again or not .. Currently still trying to get healthier and LOSE MORE WEIGHT ... it's hard at the moment with Birthdays and Christmas celebrations.

this time leading to Christmas is a little hard emotionally... I was hoping and praying so hard that by this time I'd be a few months pregnant and was even prepared to face morning sickness now if that was the case... but it's not .. my womb is empty and there's a larger hole in my heart ...a sadness that lingers and rears it's head at inopportune and unexpected times.

We celebrated Mum's 70th last night.. it was lovely ... It was extra nice to have some old friends that we knew growing up (in a small town - for the first 8 years of my life) - Mum and Dad's good friends come to the party and then to the house this morning.. It was so lovely talking to them and seeing photos of their children (our friends from childhood) 's children. However it made me quite sad simultaneously that this is an unfulfilled dream/ desire .. and that My Mum is not able to "show off" photos of her grandchildren in return at times like this.

BFN - Broken hopes and raw grief

It is all over again... and I'm feeling particularly devastated!!

Still processing it all but hopefully this post will help with that.

I had tried a couple of home pregnancy tests Sat, Sun, Mon ... with all being negative. The first two days were probably a bit too early.. but people have had positives at that point so I thought it was worth trying.. and it showed that the Ovidrel had left my system.

From Saturday afternoon I had the worst headache ... I was scared as it felt so much like the hormonal headaches I get before AF arrives.. and yet I hoped it might be from pregnancy hormones...
Sunday it continued with (TMI) some fertile and other strange CM appearing .. which according to Dr Google could be another sign of pregnancy. I stayed home to rest instead of going to church. Monday Morning there was some spotting.. and massively huge CRAMPS which only increased during the day .. Late morning I phoned the clinic and left a message, my nurse co-ordinator phoned back and said I could have the blood test a day earlier the following day. This to me was just a formality as I already knew the outcome would be negative.

Spoke with a few of my family.. lots of tears ...

Feeling super emotional, red eyed and fuzzy headed we went down to our weekly Monday night family dinner which was lovely to receive hugs and comfort ...  and a delicious meal and some fun distracting games.

Today we got up extra early so that we could get into the clinic early and not have to wait long for the test.. Guy drove us in and we parked in the car park in the same building.. we scanned in about 6:40am and sat to wait in the foyer for the lifts.. there was only one person there before us.

When it got to 7am there was a lift full of people, instead of squeezing in we waited for the next lift.

We had to wait a while... getting there so early didn't make us get straight through :(

Eventually my name was called and it was R, who I recognised as one who had done a terrible job once before.. but she had been ok the next time I saw her.. so I thought I'd give her the benefit of my doubt, but TODAY it seemed I was to have salt rubbed in my still raw wounds ... and poor Guy had to sit and watch (some of what is normal for me having bloods taken - but to a worse degree today).

She could not find veins, she took ages - she tried my right arm and didn't listen to me saying they were deep.. went in quite shallow and then proceeded to poke and prod around .. moving the needle around and back and forward - I told her it was hurting (should have been more audible and forceful) eventually she stopped.. and then after a much longer time she tried my left hand .. same deal, she said she would get a heat pack..and came back with that and a lukewarm cup of water and said she would swap with another collector who was having troubles with someone else :( that didn't inspire too much confidence either. The new lady said she'd try and I said was there someone like the gun of blood taking.. she said they were all just as good as each other (I beg to differ)

I didn't recognise any of the people on today.. I described one who had done a GREAT job before but she's left. I said was the male there today .. I forgot his name .. She then tried to find veins and then seemed happy-ish she'd found one in my left arm and said should she try it.. I said yes.. and started to cry saying I just wanted the blood to be taken to tell me what I already know .. she tried to shush me. She tried the vein.. not deep enough.. and then she went to look if the male, P was around, a different lady ended up coming in.. I recognised her as one who'd taken my blood ok before. She asked what was happening and I showed her the three bandaids/ tape from the failed attempts and then started crying again grr.. couldn't help it .. she asked if  she could take the blood from a vein further down my arm so I agreed..luckily it worked 1st go and we were out of there!

My nurse co-ordinator phoned me late morning and let me know that the results were negative. It wasn't a shock but still super sad!

I know to many people these little embryos are not even considered human .. but to me these embryos were our babies.. and I was attached to them the moment I saw the pictures of them as just a few cells... I had hopes and dreams .. I prayed for them ... I was sad and disappointed when the first one didn't make it past 4 cells.. and I am devastated that the 2nd one was in my womb for only 8 days and didn't implant and we'll never know her/him :(

I don't understand.

I'm thankful for family and friends.

Received some beautiful flowers from a lovely friend.

We were given the most thoughtful gift tonight by our niece and nephew ... she made this beautiful cactus garden for us ... with a little cactus to remember each of our 8 embryos!!

The TWO WEEK WAIT :O

I'm going a little crazy with this 2ww .. overanalysing every little twinge and pain... not sure how I'll go with waiting ANOTHER 8 days... trying to stop myself from googling x,y,z and failing!

The good news is that on Saturday this precious little embryo was transferred to my uterus :)

And so began the Two Week Wait (2WW) It is Exciting and nervewracking... will this little one continue to grow and implant and grow... is that pain the pain of implantation? Is it a bad pain? is it just from the medication?? When can I test with a home test? - Knowing it wouldn't be conclusive due to the HcG meds I've taken that are still in my system... safer not to - for peace of mind ...  knowing any symptoms this early can also be PMS/ AF ... so many thoughts....

The other little embryo never made it past 4 cells :( So that was rather sad and disappointing when the Scientist told us this on Saturday .. I'd still been expecting it would have grown but just been a bit further behind.. so they wouldn't transfer it (I did ask). The embryo they did transfer although at Day 3 was top of the expected cell numbers by Day 5 it was behind where they expect and was not yet a blastocyst.. this too was disheartening.. the Dr also didn't inspire much confidence when she told me to make and appointment to see her in about 2 weeks ... to discuss what next if this doesn't work .. she has some ideas apparently although she did say she knows couples who have become pregnant from similar (overall though the conversation made us both think she doesn't think it will work this time).

Praying that it does work!! I know it's completely in God's hands and he already knows what each day will bring ... trying to trust in this knowledge and still pleading with him that this little one will stick around ... for a very long time!! There are lots of people praying and so many invested in this journey with us.. so grateful for this support! 

Sunday I had my last injection and so really now it is completely no action just waiting!!

little embies growing and dividing

Human Life is so intricate.. It's unfathomable to think that all people start out as a tiny bunch of cells.

I'm thankful that God has given people brains and technology to be able to do this... 

A Scientist phoned this morning to update us on the status of our embryos ...  The one that fertilised normally is now 10 cells (well it was this morning :) and on Day 3 (which is today) they are supposed to be between 6-10 cells... the other little once which was slow to fertilise is still growing.. Hooray! Praise God ... Although is only 4 cells. 

Apparently we will need to sign a special consent form in order for them to transfer two on Saturday! 

We were thrilled to find that the pictures came through in the app this morning :D 

A nurse will phone me tomorrow to arrange a time for transfer on Saturday! 

So a bit more waiting.. and then a lot more waiting... with the dreaded 2ww (two week wait) before the blood test which will reveal if they have implanted or not :0

a Big couple of days

Sunday was nice having a day off meds.. a little sleep in and a slow day.. was feeling a bit yuk really so slow was good. We were on dinner for church and that went OK .. but was extra tired afterwards.

We pre-booked a car park for Monday on Kent St so that we could save a few $$

Monday morning was a bit dud as I couldn't eat or drink anything!

We got to the clinic at 10:55am ... 5 minutes early

I was pleased to hear that I had the same anaesthetist as last Egg retrieval... filled in all the paperwork and then was taken through to the surgery area where I was weighted and height checked.. then into the little waiting cubicle .. NO.2 again :)

We waited for a while .. 

with me in the "beautiful" theatre attire :P

The nurses came through and more paperwork, the Scientist came through and spoke about the process.. she asked how many eggs we would like to fertilise and we agreed to make a final decision after we knew how many eggs there were! Next came the Anaesthetist who put the cannula in my hand and spoke about the sedation.. we were going to go for low sedation again like last time as I ws mostly awake then with just some pain relief and then our Dr came in .. she was happier with the progress this cycle and said she would be open to putting two embryos in if there were two.. then we went through to the theatre room.

My robe came off..leaving me in the flimsy gown.. onto the bed, legs up into the special holders - everyone was getting ready .. the anaesthetist gave me a little something.. the Dr asked if my panda socks were lucky and I told her I only bought them the other day when my feet were wet from from all the rain in the city.. so we'll see if they are or not :D haha 

It's all very hazy and I think I was actually out for most of it .. not like last time ... i vaguely have a memory of the Dr saying we had an egg but then I wondered if that was last time. Guy thinks the Anaesthetist saw pain on my face and gave me more - I don't recall - strange feeling really!! It was all pretty quick this time. There were two eggs.. the scientist kept looking through fluids and said she's come let us know later if there were any more....

Back to our little cubicle No.2 .. Guy went off to do his thing ..

In recovery - I had a nice glass of water - never tasted so good! Peppermint tea and rice cakes with peanut butter .. check out my stylish 'over the shoe socks' here too... Panadeine and Panadol and a warm heat pack for the cramps.

The embryologist/ Scientist came back and said that yes there were 2 there.. and I said please go ahead and try to fertilise both of them.. I asked if the other follicles were just empty and apparently one had a shell of sorts (can't remember the exact language) but nothing inside. Guy came back and agreed with them trying to fertilise both using PICSI.

My heat pack got cold and cramps still bad so I rang the nurses bell and the poor nurse who eventually came thought there was a problem i Assured her I just needed it reheated and she went off to do that.

Not long after I was able to get changed back into my clothes.. and then had the cannula taken out and given the feedback survey link which I quickly did on my phone ..

We went down to the Pharmacy to pick up more medications.. Panadeine and more injections for later in the week.. all going well! We had to wait as my record hadn't been uploaded yet .. eventually the lady came out with it and I paid and we left ...

We walked to the Dymocks building where I had about a half hour of Acupuncture and some good positive talk .. my Dr was right this lady is a great IVF coach :D I have a tentative appointment booked for Sat morning.. when hopefully I'll be having the embryo transfer :)

Tuesday brings good news ... one of the eggs fertilised normally and the other shows signs of fertilisation but doesn't have two pro nuclei .. so they will watch it .. maybe it will still catch up.. hoping it's just a little slow/ got some lazy genes .. we'll find out more with the next update on Thursday!

This waiting is HARD .. but that's how it is ... feeling really well supported by family and friends :) So thankful for this!!

The app where we should be able to see photos seems to be broken and so no photos yet :( ... I've emailed them about it and hopefully it will be fixed soon!! I do like the idea of seeing photos and videos and they would be really great to bring out at a 21st (but that's getting WAY ahead)

Tomorrow I have to take another injection - to prepare for the transfer :D

Triggering tonight

Well the hormones are making me feel pretty yukko!! Been a quiet day today.. not done very much, just been working on some artwork and resting!

The nurse phoned this afternoon and my EC is scheduled for 11:30 on Monday ... so I have to take the trigger shot (Ovidrel) tonight at 11:30pm... guess I'm not having an early night tonight :(

I've booked in for Acupuncture after Egg Collection which is supposed to held relieve the bloating and cramping .. and help geet in good shape for the transfer a few days later... hope so!

Looking forward to the med free day tomorrow :)

one more day...

So I went in on Tuesday to pick up the new meds and they are rather complicated.. Above is a picture of my new morning injections.. the Luveris is two vials - one of powder and one of water and it requires a syringe with a nasty looking thick needle to suck the water up and mix it in to the powder and then change the needle over and inject it ... it's really hard not to let a lot of air in during this process :0 It makes the other pen and one off pre-filled needle seem super simple!

My tummy is starting to look like a pin cushion :0

I am super super tired!!

Today my vampire was not great.. she ended up taking blood from my hand .. it didn't hurt as much as I thought it might thankfully :)

My scan was yukky.. one of my ovaries had gone missing and so was rather painful as she tried to find it and get pictures of the follicles however good news there seem to be a few that should be  good (God willing) .. today they measured 22mm, 20mm, 16mm, 14mm, 13mm, 12mm and smaller - It's likely there may be 3-5 eggs then... but we will see what happens.

Only one day left of injections now ... tomorrow morning will be the last of my three regular injections, and sometime tomorrow I will take the Trigger shot (once the nurses phone me to advise what time and what time Egg Collection will be on Monday). I am so thankful that EC is on Monday and therefore at the city clinic with my own Dr!! Hooray!

Sunday will be nice .. a needle free day!!

I'm a little concerned the nice big 22mm follicle will be too huge by EC and no good anymore.. but the others "should" be OK and it gives the 12 and 14 maybe time to catch up... waiting and hoping and trusting :)

Meanwhile I had a lovely morning - my big sister met me in town for breakfast :) She had to get up super early for this! Very thankful!! And I spent a few hours with a very pregnant friend.. Can't wait to meet her daughter soon!!

Three words I'm not not fond of

"wait and see" is soooo hard. Each step of this process is really waiting for the next thing.. waiting for a call from a nurse, waiting to see if things are progressing properly, waiting, waiting!

Yesterdays scan showed that there are 5 follicles ... 2 x 6mm, 8mm, 12mm and 15mm ... the smaller ones really need to catch up to the others :o I hope that they can.... I was disappointed with this as the Gonal F dosage is so much higher I was expecting there to be more. But it only takes one good egg right :) {Please Lord}

My blood test showed that the LH (Luteinising hormone - which helps follicles to mature) is low and so today I am going in to the clinic AGAIN to pick up a new medication (luveris) to inject ... Apparently it's a bit different so I will need a nurse to do the first one for me :0

Have been feeling quite yukky these last few days - headaches, sore tummy, nauseous, very TIRED! It's a tough time really but hopefully for a good reason!

A dear friend sent me these wonderful verses yesterday...

Psalm 145:17-18 The Lord is Righteous in all his ways and faithful in all he does.
The Lord is near to all who call on him, to all who call on him in truth.

Acupuncture with Tens machine

Today I had Acupuncture again and this time she plugged a tens machine in on two of the needles... It makes a tingling/ zinging sensation flow around that area.. Should help with blood flow and hopefuly help the follicles grow it's a bit wierd but bearable, especially if it's going to be beneficial - I did feel more relaxed after it thankfully :)

my early morning routine

This is my new early morning routine... 2 injections.. one of Gonal F and one Orgaultran (pictured left) and a bunch of supplements!!

I have to Gonal F pen pretty much sorted .. its the one in the middle at the front that you wind to the right dosage and then after inserting it you push the end down. It's a VERY fine needle so not too bad!

The Orgalutran, started yesterday is a bit of a thicker needle and once inserted you have to draw back the plunger to make sure there is no blood and then push it down.. this one is not as fun - it is Stingy for about an hour or so afterwards.

And the supplements came from my Acupuncturist (replacing some of the vitamins etc that I was already taking) Some of these are rather yukky to swallow :P

I get a nasty headache about an hour or so after the injections! So I'm looking forward to Acupuncture again tomorrow!

*DOING IVF AT DAYLIGHT SAVINGS CHANGE OVER IS CONFUSING*